I haven't told anyone besides the obvious people. And honestly, I dont want to tell anyone. But I feel like I should give some explaination for my behavior.
Jacob and I had a conversation on Saturday night/Sunday morning, and we decided that dating wasn't working for us anymore. Some extremely hurtful things were said, but not for the sake of being mean. They were said for the sake of being truthful. And he was brave to say what we've both been thinking, because I've been too much of a coward to acknowledge what's been going on. Which is why you're all surprised to hear this.
There will be no petty antagonization of Jacob. It's not his fault that things worked out this way. I hate when a gaggle of girls gather around the one who has broken up with her boyfriend and say, "Well, you don't need that jerk anyway." That's the stupidest thing to say.
I love Jacob, but dating him isn't working out. I wish it were, and I would never lie and say that I'm okay with this, because Im completely miserable, disappointed, and broken.
This feels like more than I can handle when considered with what I continue to deal with with Zac, but, honestly, I'm still here. I don't like pain, but I'm not afraid of it. I've proven to myself over the past five months that I don't give up on things that are important, and being okay with this is something that's important.
posted by M.Jazz @ 2:54 PM
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