I'm always really lonely on Saturday morning. No one's ever online.
I really want to talk to someone right now. The thing is, there are so many things inside of me that I want to get out, but there's really almost no one that I'm comfortable talking to about them. There are all of these really private feelings that I have that I so need to talk about but, I mean, they're private. I can't.
I went to the talent show last night. It was mildly entertaining. Sarah-Jane and company did an awesome job singing Seasons of Love. It made me cry though. I developed this insatiable need to be held or at least hugged and there was no one there for me.
I found Alex afterwards and I just wanted him to know something was wrong, but of course, how could he? So I was just like, "What are you doing right now?" "Um. Nothing." "Do you wanna go...do something? Go for a drive or whatnot?" "Yea. Actually, I was hoping I could find something to do."
So we went for a drive. We got lost, as is our habbit, and ended up at Panos. He eats nearly exactly like Zac. And it made me smile and I didnt notice that I was staring at his utensils working on his pancakes and he caught me and I didnt know what to say.
We tried to make sugar packet houses, but failed honorably. I also bought the new Copeland CD, which is beautiful. The song Kite was a huge disappointment, though. It's totally different from all the other songs, and if it had been done in the same style, it would be one of the best songs ever because it has wonderful lyrics. We got sort of lost on the way home, too, but I knew how to get to Jacob's house from where we were, so literally went to Jacob's house and then I could find my way home from there.
I decided during the talent show that I have no visible talents. I think that my only talent is appreciating people. I just love the people that deserve it with everything I have. It's dangerous to do that, but maybe I'm more of a risk taker than I thought I was.
posted by M.Jazz @ 10:30 AM
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