Adolescent Effusive

Laws of Attraction

I just thought I'd put this out there for anyone who is interested.
Things That Are NOT Attractive:
1. Regularly replacing the word girl with pussy, bitch, or titties. Highly repulsive.
2. Talking about your own genitalia. It amazes me how many males talk about the organs they have between their legs as though they'd just discovered them this morning. (I realize I and others talk about our breasts quite often, but honestly, they're WAY less gross. They're not hairy and the underwear on them actually SUPPORTS them. Thank you.)
3. Swearing in excess. Ahem: "What the fuck? Don't put that shit all over my shit. Damn bitch!" Only funny when it's someone who normally doesn't swear.
4. Being a homophobe. Honestly, that is the most unattractive attribute ever. If you can sit next to me, a girl who is attracted to boys, and not be worried about me jumping your bones, you can sit next to a gay man. Shut UP.
5. Being "put together." If you look like the maniquin I just saw in the Abercrombie/ Hot Topic window, you have no originalality and therefore nothing to offer in a conversation or relationship.
6. Being an anarchist: LEAVE MY COUNTRY!
7. Not caring about anything. Not caring about school is one thing. Not caring about ANYTHING is just and insult to life.
8. A stylish goatee that isn't kept up with. EW.
9. Being arrogant. Unfounded, excessive arrogance. There's a difference between feeling good about yourself and knowing your strengths and being full of yourself.
10. Playing with your food every day. On occasion, it's funny. Most of the time, it's just gross.
11. Being "ripped." Oh my GOD. This is such a big one. It should be near the top. Being "ripped" is actually really unattractive. I suppose if you're a health fanatic and do it to FEEL good, then that's fine. But these guys I see in the weightroom, watching themselves lift weights in the mirror...It makes me want to puke. It totally erases any physical attractiveness they have. You could obtain those same muscles shoveling the driveway for your mom.
12. Being "sensitive." The sensitive guy stereotype SUCKS. Oh my god. There's a difference between being compassionate and understanding and being fake and feeding lines. The kind of guy who goes out of his way to cry around girls just because he thinks that what they want is repulsive. Crying is fine, but only if you really mean it.


Things That Are Attractive:
1. Being bona fide. Genuine. Real. Don't LIE TO ME.
2. Intelligence. This is a tricky one because with intelligence usually comes arrogance. It should come with confidence and pride, but...You know.
3. Bowling shoes. For God's sake, BOWLING SHOES. However, not everyone can pull them off.
4. Having a passion/interest. There has got to be something that sparks you. Anything. Besides pussy and titties.
5. The ability to laugh at yourself. So many people think this is the same as being the class clown and making other people laugh. That is self-serving. That's getting attention for yourself. Being able to laugh at yourself is being able to see yourself as others see you, which will help you become a more effective person.
6. HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY! I haaate when people don't respond to normal conversation starters or make me do all the work.
7. "Spontaneity." Not being set to a rigid scheduel that absolutely cannot be changed. I can't stand it when I ask people to do things on the weekend on Wednesday and they say, "Well, I was gonna watch a movie and I have to be in bed by 9 because I have to do this and this and this." AGH!
8. Wearing clothes that FIT. Ahem. No one wants to see every crevice of your nipple. Nor to they want to wonder if you were previously obese.

I'm exhausted.

posted by M.Jazz @ 5:23 PM