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I'm going to explode.
I just...khjfkjn. I don't know what to do.
I'm a selfish baby because I want all of the people I love to sit around and fester and just love me and be happy with that. I can't stand the fact that they have to leave me and that's just the fucking way it works.
I spend a lot of time reliving the horror and pain and overbearing sadness of Zac's sudden and unexplained death. Now that I know how much hurting I can endure, I never want to endure it again. I feel like I've had my share and I should be done for life. Great life lesson, omnipotent being, I'm so glad you taught me that. I've learned to appreciate those around me (not like I didn't before, thanksfornoticing) and I'm pretty sure I've earned some good clean happiness.
Honestly. Every time I have a good, normal day something just comes up and slashes my belly and everything's on the ground getting dirty again.
I was all excited to make a post that's actually normal. One about biscuits and Devin Rooney reminding me how lively and worthwhile people can be.
And now I feel like shit.
Awesome.
posted by M.Jazz @ 1:08 AM
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