Adolescent Effusive

Eres un Chiste, Brian

All right. Brian Winger vs. Mary Kate Ultimate Smackdown, Thus Far
Comments in green are in Spanish, blue are under my breath...which doesn't mean much because my desk is right next to him.

B: What a great weekend. It's always nice to have an extra day off.
Class: No response
B: I think that we should work until five every day and then just get three day weekends every week.
MK: You've said so before. (Translate: You are so tired and beat, you lameass.)
B: What do you guys think about having more school?
Class: No response
B: You see, *flicks on overhead projector* This is how many days the Germans, Japanese, English...go to school *writes down 220* How many days do you think we go?
Class: No response
B: *writes down 180* A hundred and eighty. A hundred and eighty seven for teachers. This is why we're more stupid than other countries.
MK: *raises an eyebrow* (Translate: If you flip on that overhead projector or repeat yourself one more time, I'm gonna punch you.)
B: Other countries are so much better at math. We can't compete. Do you think we should go to school for longer?
Class: No response
B: Do you think we should go to school for longer?
Class: No response
B: Maria, what do you think?
MK: I don't care.
B: *looks at me like I'm stupid* Sarah, could you translate for us?
S: You said that other countries are better than us because they go to school for longer.
B: *looks at me smugly*
MK: *raises an eyebrow* (Translate: You just want her to have your babies and you hate me because I challenge you. You don't like a challenge, Brian? You're lazy.)
B: Who thinks we should go to school for longer? *raises hand*
Class: No response
B: Who thinks it should stay the same?
Class: a few raise their hands
B: So you just want everything to be the same?
Class: No response
B: You should see the Japanese kids. They're amazing at math. Of course, all they do is work there. But, doesn't it make you feel stupid?
MK: I think that there's more to life than math.
B: But we can't compete.
MK: I don't care.
B: Germany, Japan, England...they're all so much smarter than us.
MK: Uh...So?
B: You're complacent.
MK: *tenses up* No, I just have my own opinion. School isn't everything (Brian).
B: No. You're complacent.
MK: Not really. I'm just gonna have to disagree with you today.
B: I just wanted to talk about how much I like three day weekends.
MK: If we have three day weekends, we won't be able to keep up with the Japanese.
B: Well, now that we're done with that argument that has nothing to do with class....You know, I was just doing it to see if you understood Spanish. Which obviously didn't work.
MK: *raises an eyebrow* (Tanslate: You arrogant bastard.)

Later on in class, talking about commands.
B: For instance, you'd say "Be nice, Maria."

My stance on the whole thing: Brian Winger, you can just go *beep* someone else's wife.
To be more intelligent: Why don't you, such a big fan of statistics, look up the suicide rates in youths in Japan as opposed to those here. Maybe I'll give you a dolare. Or maybe even a punto so we can subimos and listen to your 1992 Marenge tapes.

posted by M.Jazz @ 3:59 PM